Dear Dumb College Kids,

There are dumpsters right behind this building for the purpose of providing a place for you to put your trash. The regular-sized trashcans on either side of the entrance to the building are not for your large trash bags. Stop being lazy pieces of crap and walk to the other side of the building.

Furthermore, there are two dumpsters there. When the one in front is full, walk the less-than-three feet to the one behind it; do not put your trash on the ground next to the full one.

Sincerely.