Dear Dumb College Kids,

Here's a little metaphysical lesson that you should keep in your pockets: Everything is made for a reason.

eg: Bread comes in wrappers for a reason. You may think that bread manufacturers include these items simply for your inconvenience, but what it really does is keeps the bread fresh. Unless, of course, you're one of the overwhelmingly large amounts of dining hall eaters who decide that wrapping a loaf of bread back up when you are done with it is just not worth three seconds out of your day. Then it's pretty much just there to be annoying.

Just like you.

Sincerely.